Keep a Journal

One of the best tools for self-leadership is a journal. Writing about yourself—what you think, feel, notice, hope for, dread, want, need—is a small but profound act of self-care. It is you noticing you. It is you honoring you by paying enough self-attention to be able to write the book of you. Think of your journal that way: as your book of you.

Writing is also an act of choice, and making choices is a central theme in this program. Writing every day is an act of commitment, the first thing I asked you to do in The Agreement (make commitments to yourself). I promise you that you’ll want to make notes as you go through this book. I hope you’ll also have lots of ideas and insight as you go.

Start with the journal itself. I use what many people remember as a “lab book” which I buy from a stationary store. Some people may remember them as "composition books." I like the kind with light blue grid lines.

I know people who prefer high-quality, leather bound books, the kind you get from a company like Levengers. Moleskin makes wonderful books in many sizes, including a pocket sized book that people like Ernest Hemmingway and Oscar Wilde carried.

The form of the thing doesn’t matter. The point is to get something, get it soon, and keep it with you. I find myself writing notes and ideas throughout the day.

While you’re at it, think about what you’ll write with. Remember, this is a matter of choice. Choose to choose. I know people that grab any available pen or pencil. I know people who use a special fountain pen. My brother, a very senior and successful consultant uses a special pen, a special pencil, and even crayons. There isn’t a right answer.

Next, make a conscious choice about when you will write in your journal. As I said before, I choose to write throughout the day. You might decide to write in the morning as part of your preparation or at night as part of debriefing your day with yourself. Again, make a choice; make a commitment to yourself and keep it.

Finally, there is what you choose to write. It’s your journal, so you make the rules. Here are some ideas.

Write about what you’re thinking: This is often the easiest thing to do. We fill our days with tasks and our minds with thoughts. Writing them down is often a useful way to capture and anchor something we’ve been thinking about so that we can put it down and move on. I have lots of thoughts throughout the day that I write down: Ideas for clients, observations I have, ideas for books. Rather than turning them over and over, I write them down in my journal.

Write about what you’re feeling; Writing about feelings can be difficult for some people, particularly men. The more difficult you find it, the more you should seek to do it. Often a good way to get at this is to hold your pen in your “non-dominant” hand (so your left hand if you normally write right-handed) and just see what comes out. Writing about your feelings—sad, mad, afraid, happy—helps you acknowledge and honor a part of yourself that often gets left out. Feelings provide critical guidance to the leader in you that is seeking to become the best version of you that you can be.

Write about your plans and aspirations. So much of what we have talked about is aspirational. Don’t be afraid to place a detailed order with whatever you hold highest—the Universe, your true self, God, Being. Be specific about what you want. Write it down. Draw it out. Color it in. Let what you desire come out and take form on paper.

Write about your day. We fill our days with task upon task, and thoughts beyond counting. Take time at the end of the day to reflect on the events, the thoughts, and the feelings you experienced. Make notes. Write them down. If you don’t like how something went, write about that and then write the ending that you now wish for.

Draw. That’s right, draw. I’ve been using the word “write” the entire time, but that’s only one way to access your inner wisdom. Even if you don’t think of yourself as an artist—in fact, especially if you don’t think of yourself that way—drawing is often the very best way of getting at your feelings about things. Consider doing this with your non-dominant hand: a neat way to trick your rational mind into thinking that drawing is okay. After all, you’re doing it with “the wrong hand,” so you know it will look ugly before you start!